Desire creates suffering because it is wanting something to be different from how it is. The desire of wanting a baby is up there with the biggest desires that you can ever have. Along with survival, you are hard-wired to desire a baby more than anything else in the world.
As Naval Ravikant said “Happiness is the absence of suffering. It comes from peace. That comes from being careful about desire.”
But how can you be happy when you feel like there is a big hole missing in your life because you’re not pregnant yet?
How To Be Happy When You’re Not Pregnant
Pick One Big Desire And Let Go Of The Small Stuff
It’s human instinct to have desires, but don’t have too many of them and don’t unconsciously have them. If you have too many then you can end up feeling dissatisfied with life and being unhappy. You can fill your head with unmet desires and think ‘my tea is too cold’ or ‘the dog just left hairs on the sofa’ or ‘my partner didn’t buy the right kind of pasta.’
If you have too many desires then you can spend a lot of time trying to make your life perfect, which is impossible and creates a lot of stress and tension.
Consciously and intentionally let go of desires that don’t matter and just focus on your one big desire to have a baby. Clearing your mind and letting go creates peace.
Turn Frustration into Action
If you don’t have what you desire then it creates unhappiness and frustration. You can feel unsatisfied with life. The frustration of wanting a baby and getting your period each month can build up.
Frustration feels uncomfortable, but it is the catalyst that helps you to take action. Frustration fuels the fire to make changes. Without frustration then you’d stay the same, doing the same things and nothing would change.
When you feel frustrated, embrace it and thank it for showing up. Use the energy of frustration to take action and do something proactive to support your fertility.
Choose To Be Happy
When I say ‘choose to be happy’ I’m not talking about if you have a chemical imbalance that you can’t choose. In this case, you might need to take medication and get therapy. I’m talking about the everyday state of mind of choosing how to be.
Desire is a contract that you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want. You can intentionally choose to be happy, to rewire your brain and to see the gift in all situations. This takes work and practice.
Send me a message this week if you need some extra help or inspiration to achieve this yourself.
In loving support,
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