Alexandra had a miscarriage and felt empty
After my miscarriage, I felt empty. I felt like I needed to fill that void right away. We started trying again right when my regular cycle came back, and was expecting it to work right away like last time.
Month after month I kept feeling disappointed. There were even times that I would break down crying when my period started. I had no known health issues, and couldn’t figure out why we weren’t getting pregnant and why my cycle had changed so much. I started doing my own research and felt like I had to try all the things, and was convinced that I had low progesterone levels. It got overwhelming very quickly, especially since I didn’t have a diagnosis.
Plan Yourself Pregnant was a great way for me to feel structured and not so overwhelmed. Having my one-on-one session with Rachel also helped me validate some of my choices, and ease some of my guilt for not necessarily doing everything that was suggested, and just doing what felt right for us.
The step-by-step plan helped me get focused. I needed to first get the science figured-out and work towards my perfect period. While I was waiting for all the appointments and tests, I toyed around with the fertile diet, but the main thing, which I never realised was such a problem, was stress. I never thought of myself as a particularly stressed person, and I generally have a handle on my emotions. But I had been unhappy at work for a while. I ended up taking a big risk in December, and it really paid off.
My new position has better conditions, stability and better hours. This, combined with my husband finishing his PhD, also getting a full time, permanent contract did wonders for us. We had so much more time on our hands, and weren’t nearly as tired. We had even decided to take a break from trying, since I was supposed to travel overseas in the upcoming year. We ended-up forgetting where I was in my cycle, and here we are now, I’m 7 weeks along!
Having Rachel’s and the whole community’s support really meant a lot. I was able to share my frustrations when finding out friends were pregnant, my grief during the miscarriage and due date anniversaries, and my breakthroughs, either with the steps, or with important conversations with my husband, and never be afraid of being judged, always feeling supported. It has also helped to have Rachel’s support now that I’m pregnant again, to help ease my fears and celebrate my personal growth moments.