Nina didn’t realise how stressed she was when she was trying for a baby

Nina: My sister’s were having children and there was more people, all my friends were having children, and I started thinking oh, maybe this might be something that I want so. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-thirties that I really started thinking seriously that I wanted children.

And then you get the maternal urge and then you start seeing little cute babies and you’re like ooh quite fancy one now!

I was in this really naive state which I think most people are, where you think you’re going to get pregnant the first month you’re gonna try.

Because I was over thirty-five they said to me that it can take, you know, up to a year to get pregnant but if after six months nothing happens, come back for some tests.

Although I fell pregnant within like a month or two, the pregnancy didn’t last because the baby wasn’t really growing.

The main positive I took from that was that at least I knew that my body can fall pregnant and it was just a case of trying again whether using IVF or carrying on naturally.

I’d kind of stopped focussing on healthy eating, exercise and me, and I was just focussing on a job that was bringing me down, whilst also trying for a child that wasn’t happening.

When I first came to see you, I didn’t actually realise how stressed I was. My attitude changed to work, I realised some people even saying to me, oh you don’t, you’re still working but you don’t seem as stressed and I was thinking yes that’s because I started to think long term about what I want.

So I started running, started eating better and I started to plan.

I’m the kind of person that likes to be in control of my life and normally if I want to do something or achieve something, I’m quite goal orientated and I know what steps I need to follow to achieve it.

Some of those things were simple things like looking at what I’m eating, maybe choosing something that I enjoy to exercise, doing stuff for me, taking some time out. All those things together I think helped me formulate, you know, a plan of what I can do next time I was in a stressful situation but also long term what I wanted.

Having the IVF investigation I realised that actually my reserve was quite low, egg reserve low too. the numbers that they gave me were 26% chance of success. I also knew that if the egg quality is there then it only takes one egg, so that’s what I was banking on.

I knew that you were going to be there to support me if there were any problems and that if I needed to, if I was really anxious, I knew that I could have, you know, something to help me, in terms of just talking to you or having a treatment, I really believe that helped keep me calm through the whole IVF process.

It’s all building up to a two-week wait and so, those three minutes were like the longest three minutes of my life. It was such a shock, I just, initially, I just felt so numb seeing like a positive and I just didn’t believe it. Then I did like three, four more tests just to double-check. It was definitely a positive and then I ended up doing a test every single day just to make sure that there were still those two lines.

You still worry every day because you think, well, is something going to happen, and then when you have your viability scan which is at six weeks and then seeing that on the screen that’s what made it real and that’s when you get your first picture, your first picture scan at six weeks and then you’ve got something to look at every day when you doubt if you’re pregnant. And you look at it and it’s no, no, this is really happening, I am actually pregnant. Yeah, it was just amazing, best news ever.

[Nina’s Husband Joins]

Husband: Hello

Nina: Hi!

Husband: It has been a difficult journey I think you know. The low points of trying to have a baby and it not working in the sort of month after month of hopefully were pregnant this month, and it not working. We both found difficult to deal with. I mean it was happening to your body physically but it’s happening to both of us emotionally.

And seeing her being able to have the sort of emotional support of having someone that she can talk to was very nice for me to know that that was there and it was something she was doing that was helping.

Obviously hoping for the positive outcome but having had the miscarriage before and so many months where you look down and you’re hoping for a positive test and its negative, having that in the back of your mind. Longest three minutes of our lives I think is true.

Nina: Yeah

Husband: We knew how the last pregnancy had gone and how sad we were when that ended so, so, shortly after the positives, I think that was always in the back of our minds.

Nina: But I think you also enjoy it more because you just take every single day of your pregnancy as, you know, something that you should cherish and enjoy however long it lasts, and hopefully you do have a baby at the end of it, that’s what everyone wants. But you just, rather than worry each day I think I just, I think I kinda made a conscious effort to enjoy it every day.

It’s like a big fat fish swimming in my belly at the moment!