Beth tried everything to get pregnant

When we started dating, we actually, neither one of us thought we wanted to get married or have kids and as our relationship grew, and I saw him with kids, he's an uncle of 22 children. So I realised that this was something that I wanted.

But after we'd been married for about four or five years, we were settled in a house, we were financially stable. We decided that it was time to start trying and I think as most people think, oh, we're going to start trying, and we'll have a baby, and that was not the case. We tried for a good year, a year and a half before I spoke to my doctor and said, you know, this just isn't working.

So we were both sent for tests initially, and then everything came back perfect. So they said, keep trying for a few more months and see what happens, and if nothing happens we can refer you to a couple of different fertility clinics. Nothing happened. So we started the infertility journey through fertility clinics. They did more testing. They came back with everything looks great, let's try a few rounds of IUI, I'm sure it's just timing. After four rounds of IUI, we moved on to IVF, and I thought, okay, IVF, we're definitely gonna have a baby through the first round. I kind of went in a little blindly, not really preparing myself, my body, and just thought, oh, IVF, I'll be pregnant right away.

We ended up in total doing three full rounds of retrieval. With those retrievals, we only got five or six eggs that were viable. None of them implanted. The fertility clinic throughout, and this was throughout three years, and the fertility clinics throughout that time, they would change my medicine dosage to see if that helped me produce more follicles and that didn't help. They did some exploratory surgery to see if I had endometriosis, or fibroids, if my tubes were clear, and that was all picture perfect. So then they said, well, you just have low ovarian reserve. And eventually, I just needed to stop the IVF journey. My body, my mental state, and my body were just shot.

After the second round of IVF is when I actually found this membership and really started working on myself through the guidance of the membership, both mentally and physically. Learning things that I didn't even take into consideration through my first couple of rounds of IVF. Everything from diet to meditation, different types of exercise, just general support too. We didn't tell many people that we were going through this journey and so I did feel pretty alone a lot of the time so the membership gave me a place to connect with other women who are going through exactly what I was going through. And one thing that I found is, at least in the United States, each speciality area just focuses on fertility. They don't look at the overall picture of what might be going on in your body.

What I learned through this program and different diets, and help with some different testings that I had done, was that my body was inflamed due to some gastro issues. I eventually had my gallbladder out because I had the right tests done by my general, as suggested from Dee in this program. And once I had got those situations under control I was able to fall pregnant naturally, which was a very big and happy surprise.

The great thing of, not just the support from the different women within the Facebook group and our bi-weekly membership calls, but also it helped me look at the big picture and helped me advocate for myself with my doctors and say something is not right. Whether it was just the fertility issues or I knew something else was going on with my body. I was eating the healthiest I was ever eating, I was exercising regularly, and I still didn't feel my optimal self. And, you know, I didn't even know what kind of tests to ask for or how to advocate for myself.

And through that, the lessons I learned through the membership and, you know, hearing from not just Rachel and Dee, but what other women had asked for or gone through, it sort of gave me that confidence to feel that I could just say to my general practitioner even, something's wrong and I'm not leaving here until we figure it out.

As part of the program, Dee wrote a letter and explained to my doctor what tests I should have and why. And that's when they realised that it was my gallbladder, and they said, well probably my gallbladder, and then they sent me for more tests to confirm yes, that needs to come out. And once it was out, I didn't realise how, I don't want to say sick, but how not well I felt until my body was actually functioning in a place where it should be. I was ready to throw in the towel multiple times but with the support of Rachel and the support of Dee and the other women, I, you know, I would take a break, but I didn't give up.

And we found that slice of, that piece of the puzzle that was missing, and, you know, Rachel was very gentle with me. She understood when I needed to take a break and supported me with those decisions. And when I was ready to come back in full force, I did. Because this is, this is a journey in which taking a break is a healthy thing. Both physically and mentally. It's not easy and I think, you know, just the support around, that I felt I had around, myself, and my partner.

That was the other thing, counselling me through some things, as far as like, I didn't want my husband to feel like there was a lot of pressure on him. And, you know, how to address relationship issues that come along with this journey because they, they come up.

You know, we're fortunate where it brought us closer together, but not every day was heart, stars and rainbows. So, yeah, you know, I think without being a member, I probably would have thrown in the towel years ago. Never figured out my other health issues and probably wouldn't have, wouldn't be here expecting our first child.

We've been trying for six years. And at one point I just felt like my life had been put on hold. We had skipped going on vacation due to fertility treatments or, you know, I wasn't going out with friends as much because I didn't want to be drinking, or explaining to them that, what was going on, and it got to the point where I realised my life wasn't healthy anymore, even though I was the healthiest I'd ever been. Just, I didn't have a social life anymore. We weren't going on vacation. I wasn't enjoying the everyday thing. And that, a couple of times is when I was like, that's it we're done, I can't let this control every aspect of my life. And it did get pretty dark a couple of times when we were, you know. I had some guilt of, oh, I can't have a baby, I got him to the point where he really wanted kids, and now we can't do that. And then there was also a moment of, you know, what, we're okay as a two fam, as a couple, and just, you know, the two of us. So there was a lot of ups and downs, ebbs and flows, in our journey.

And you know, when we started out this journey when we started the IVF process, we said, we're going to do two rounds and be done. And if it doesn't work in two rounds, you know, we're just, this is what it is. And then two rounds came and they went, and I wasn't there mentally to just give up. And after the third round, I still wasn't necessarily there mentally to give up, but I knew my body needed me to stop the IVF. I just, it wasn't reacting well to the meds, I was exhausted, I was in tears often, and that was kind of like, well, we've now done three rounds. It's not worth doing a fourth for me. I just know it in my body and my mind, and that was probably the really first time I wanted to just give up.

At that point, I had started the membership a few months prior. And so I said, let me stick with the membership. Let me see if I can go the natural route. Really focus on getting myself optimal, and we'll do it, maybe we'll do another round. And we didn’t end up doing another round because it just, every time I thought about it, I went back to that last round in my mind thinking I just can't do it.

So after my third round of IVF, my cycle was all over the place. And that was something that I never had issues with. I was always 28, 29 days. The length of my cycle was fine. And then all of a sudden I was 40 days, I was 17 days, I was 30 days, you know, it was all over the place. So I started, kind of, back at what I would call square one with the program, and looking at what to do to get the most fertile cycle. I also called my OB and I was actually afraid I was going into early menopause because all of a sudden my cycle was all over the place. And my OB sent me for some tests, probably the same test I took originally back five years prior. And she called me and she said your numbers are great, you, and they were the best that they had ever been throughout this entire fertility. My FSH, AMH were wonderful, and that was kind of actually the spark of, something else is going on, because if my ovarian reserve is not depleting like the fertility clinic thought it was. Why am I still not getting pregnant?

And my cycle was starting to come back. Getting closer to the 28 to 30 days after working with, you know, exercise and diet, and looking at the types of foods, and seed cycling, I started doing that. And that was where Dee sort of helped me out, you know. That's when I started meeting with Dee regularly and she helped me with the other tests that I had done, for my other health issues.

So every month I would have a one-on-one session with Rachel and I got a lot of tips, as to how to help me with stress relief. And mental health support I think was huge as part of this program and Rachel is so good at that. Everything from just sitting with you and meditating for a few minutes to, you know. Just listening and understanding what you're going through. You know, I'm sure there were months where there were tears and frustration. And never giving up on me, and saying, well maybe it's, you know, maybe this isn't the journey for you. I never heard that. It was, let's take a break, or you tell me what you need, how can I support you? Was always her first question. And just hearing that, you don't get that every day, these days.

And you know, everything from just stretching, like standing up in the morning and stretching, and doing the exercises that are in the program, and reminding you about the exercises in the program. And teaching, teaching us about acupressure points, which ones are good, you know, not just for fertility, but you know, if my back was bothering me or I was having some menstrual cramps. You know, that, those acupressure points are gold in so many ways. So learning about those. And, you know, whatever I needed for support, if she didn't have the answer right there, she got, she would get back to me with an answer. You know, so just knowing I had that cheerleader behind me throughout, this was huge.

The next part about the membership is you get this community of women who are, who understand what you're going through. And I think, when you're in your circle of friends, whether they know or not, some of them may know what you're going through, but the majority of your friends just probably don't understand. And so the Facebook group, and the bi-weekly membership calls just gave a forum of It's not just me. I feel like this journey, just, you feel like it's you, and you're the only one having issues, and it's very lonely a deserted island. And being able to throw questions out on Facebook - Hey, I'm dealing with this. Has anybody else dealt with it? How did you do it? Sharing recipes. You know, being cheerleaders for each other, when somebody had a win, whether it's I finally had a 28 days cycle, or Hey, guess what? I'm pregnant and celebrating that. And you know, the bi-weekly calls with Rachel, where she helped us, you know, share our stories with one another, and also guide us with different, different exercises and things was wonderful. And even if you can't be on them, they're all recorded, so you can listen afterwards.

But yeah, I think the Facebook group, you know. And then even on occasion, I would have side conversations with women who, you know, had a question about, you know, I know you did this, how did that work out? You know, so you do have a whole new set of friends that really understand what you've been going through in a support system. Sisters really.

I would say my biggest breakthrough was a lot of the mental health side of things and the slowing down and taking time to have gratitude and meditate on that. It wasn't something I ever did before this program. I just, you know, I was so focused on the physical, I didn't really think about how important the mental is when you're going through something like this. And really reflecting on, even on your darkest days, what's one thing that you're grateful for, because there's always something. Even if you don't feel like it, you just stop and think, and I would do that right before bed and it would really help my sleep. And that was another thing the program taught me was how important sleep really is. And how to get a good night's sleep. From meditations to gratitude, to the turning off your device. All of those things. So I think my biggest breakthrough was the mental health aspect to what to do to support yourself. You know, so you don't end up with just demons all the time.

If you're on the fence about joining the membership, I looked at it as another investment in this journey. There's a lot of things that you're going to spend money on while you're trying to conceive, especially if you go IVF or IUI route. And I feel like this is one of the most important places to invest in yourself because you get an overall picture of what is going, what you can look at that could be going on with you.

Again, I've mentioned everything from the mental health, to the physical health. So looking at the overall picture, as opposed to just the fertility picture. And the best thing you can do I think is invest in yourself. And that is one thing I learned in this journey. So joining the membership is definitely something that I would do. If you're on the fence, just realise that it is an investment and the most important thing you can invest in is yourself, and your relationship.

Oh, my goodness. So I had just had my gallbladder out in December, and I was feeling amazing and everything was great, and I was like, wow. I had no idea I didn't feel well, it was just how I felt. I thought that's how everybody felt. And then all of a sudden I started not feeling well again and I was like, oh no, my gallbladder, maybe it wasn't my gallbladder. Did I go through all of that for no reason? And I was not wanting to eat food, and I was starting to get nauseous, and I didn't know what was happening, and then all of a sudden my boobs started to hurt. And I was a little late on my cycle, but they had told me after the surgery that my cycle would be off, because of the meds and everything my body had gone through so to just give it time, it would, it would bounce back. I would be fine.

And I was like, maybe I should test. I've been through so much, I can't imagine I would be pregnant, and it wasn't like we were trying because I was in recovery. And then all of a sudden I was like, all right, I'm going to test. And I took the test and I just, I just stood there. Completely shocked. Everything I had been working for, everything we had been doing for six years had finally, the test said positive. And I was like, no, no way, no way. And my husband wasn't even home. He was at work. He had a Saturday morning work session he had to do, and I just started pacing. So then I took another test cause I didn't believe it, and that one came back positive, and then it was just more pacing and, oh my goodness, Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness. And he walked in the door and we were, we had an appointment somewhere, and he was like, he's like, I'm going to change quick and let's go. And he was like, ready, like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Which is how he is.

And I was like, let's just hold up for a minute. And I showed him the test and he just, he went, wait, what? What? And he was shocked and he's like, I need to sit down. Because neither one of us, you know, really expected this to happen, especially not right away after, you know, a major surgery. And then he was like, wait, give me a hug, and we just celebrated. And we're on cloud nine. And when I called the doctor's office, they were like, you need to come in right away because you're, based on when your last period was, you know, you're eight weeks along already. And so it was, I was ecstatic, but I was still holding myself, like being careful, because I was so afraid that this wasn't real.

And I went in the scan showed a little cluster, of what was to become my baby. And I was still nervous until my 13th week, and I was holding my breath and everything looked great there. And then, you know, after even the 20 week anatomy scan that I had. That's when I really felt I could just take a deep breath and really enjoy this pregnancy. And that's what it's been. It's just been a joy. I mean, has there been some back pain? Yes. Has there been some sciatic issues? Yes, but I really, you know, I think because of this journey, I have enjoyed 98% of this pregnancy.

I mean, He's a very stoic person and he doesn't get excited easily, and he is very excited. You could just, you can just see it. You can feel it. You know, we started taking, you know, we took a birthing class and he's all in, you know, and the other night, my back was bothering me and he was like, come here and he just, you know, he rubbed my back exactly how the nurse and the birthing class said he should. And he's like, see, I pay attention. And you know, he had the crib put together within, I don't know, a week or two that we had it. And I was like, we were going to redo the floors, so he was like, oh right. But he was just so excited. He wanted to get that crib put together and really start to see everything come together.

Last night, we sat there and we took all the tags off the baby clothes so we can wash them, you know, and we did that together. So yeah, he's very excited. And, you know, throughout this journey, he's, he's been my rock. You know, I mean, there's been a lot of tears, but it really did bring us closer together, you know, and realising, you know, what is important. And to me, it was our relationship. You know, and making sure that that was number one, even after I got pregnant. I remember it, Rachel, I had asked her about, you know, making sure, you know, yes, it was all about me and this baby, but making sure he felt it was also about him, because, you know, there's things I can experience that he just can't. And, you know I wanted to also put him, you know, make him feel as much a part of this pregnancy as I am because he's been so, so supportive throughout every step of this journey. And you know it's hard to do this alone. So having that rock has been huge. Like I said, it really brought our relationship to a whole new level.

We are excited. And like I said, he's been around kids a lot more than I have so when my friends are like, oh, is he going to change diapers? I'm like, he's better at changing diapers than I am. Are you kidding me? The only thing he's not going to do is breastfeed.

Update

Beth says:

"Maggie is almost one now. Sometimes I look at her and can’t believe she's mine after all those years of trying to conceive. Your program is what saved me on this journey."