Tria was trying to conceive for over three years

He always said animals and little kids is the thing he loves about me. We hit it off on the first date. We both had other dates scheduled after and both of us cancelled. We didn't know the other one had cancelled, but we both did, to see where it went with each other.

For a long time I did not think I wanted to have kids, more because I was scared of just how I would, I guess, be around children. Not that I wouldn't love them and adore them, I was just, I didn't want to mess them up. It suddenly switched probably within the past six or seven years why I really wanted to have a child.

I had done a lot of personal work on my own to get kind of over some things that have happened in my life, that I think led me to be fearful.

So my husband and I got married about three years ago. And just given our age, we started trying to get pregnant right away. For about the first six months, I will be honest I didn't really know what I was doing, like I knew there's ovulation time and that sort of thing, but that was about it. So we were trying, I don't know that we were trying in the most productive way, and then after six months of no success, just again with age, we went to an OB GYN and she immediately did some tests on me, and like get the AMH levels and that sort of thing. And at that point in time, my AMH was a little, It was where it was supposed to be for my age and she said even a little better than average for where it should be for my age. So she recommended a fertility specialist just because we'd been trying, and not able to get pregnant. And I went to that fertility specialist and she did some tests on my husband as well. And his tests came back a little suspect at first but he had been on steroids for an illness for about five months, I think. And so she said, you know, that could affect things, told us to keep trying in the meantime, gave him some more time for that to get out of a system, tested him again, said his numbers were fine and she just, at that point said we were unexplained infertility. She said, it just means we don't know why it's just not happening. And so she had recommended some insemination rounds at that point.

And we ended up going through three rounds of insemination with no success. And each time, you know, they would kind of analyse my husband's sperm count and things at that point. And they said they were fine every time. And my follicles were looking solid, so again, she said, we don't know what's going on. Don't know why, you know, these things are happening. And she said, given my age, we needed to go to IVF and we just weren't in a place where we wanted to do that yet.

One for the cost. And it's just a shot in the dark. Like hopefully it works, you know? And so we stepped away from her at that point. And then I got pregnant within the next cycle, but then I miscarriage at about six and a half weeks. We did some testing on the embryo after that, and it was just deemed that it was not just not a viable embryo. And so then the doctor again recommended IVF, but I still wasn't at that point.

I did the Plan Yourself Pregnant membership for six months. And then towards the end of that, you know, I was talking with Rachel quite a bit about IVF or not, you know, it was kind of becoming apparent that that was maybe the route we did need to go.

And so I ended up seeing a different fertility specialist to get a second opinion. And he did a little more thorough testing, and he did a test called ovarian reserve, to really look even further beyond AMH levels. And we found out my AMH levels had actually plummeted quite a bit, just in that year and a half or so.

And then the other test, he said, you know, this is really the route you need to go, is IVF. We just, we went forward with the mindset we're going to give ourselves the best opportunity and that's. We weren't sold on it had to happen. Just lots of talks with Rachel. Like we know if we put so much mental pressure on ourself with IVF, that can make it really hard.

And so I felt like I got into a good place of, I'm giving it a shot. This is the best shot we can give.

We talked a lot about if IVF didn't work, we would try adoption down the road. And so I was able to get in that mindset of it will happen just one of either IVF or adoption. And so I didn't feel like it was the end all, be all, for IVF.

So when I first started the membership, and especially working with Dee I let her know right away that I have a history of an eating disorder and so I had a little bit of fear, kind of, adjusting diet, and those sorts of things. Cause I went through treatment for it and I'm in a much better place with it now. But part of that treatment is kind of, eat everything in moderation, and you know, and so I kind of got very much, okay, this works for me. I know I'm in a good place because of this. And so I was nervous. And I felt like Dee was very receptive to that. And she started off with very small changes for me. I still don't feel like I made, you know, these gigantic changes where I was uncomfortable with it, but we started off very small. Even just kind of switching over some of the items that have gluten in it, you know, she told me it wasn't an all or nothing to start with, you know, because hearing those words with my background, that can get dangerous.

And so I just started making those small changes in my diet and actually all the recipes were super helpful on the website. I mean, it was just some of those things. Okay, let's give this a try. And, you know, I could see what was in there and it didn't feel like I was cutting so much out of my life. Like, it didn't feel like these things were happening for me and so I felt like it was doable. And when you feel like something's doable, you'll sustain it and you'll continue to do it. Where if you have to make these major sweeping changes that you just don't feel, one maybe don't taste very good, but those recipes are really good. So they tasted, they tasted good.

And I think my biggest breakthrough was probably, kind of a mental, emotional combination with the one-on-one sessions with you. I had a hard time just even expressing myself in how I felt about pregnancy and wanting children. I was scared to put myself out there enough to say, I do want to be pregnant. I do want a child. Like, I just couldn't even say those words because. The fear of disappointment of it not happening. And so then I felt like I was putting myself out there and then it might not happen. And I just couldn't even work through those emotions and so I feel like I was always kind of holding in. And I think in a number of our one-on-one sessions, it was just those kinds of chipping away at that to kind of make myself vulnerable, to even say that and to feel like it was okay to say it, but you know, those sorts of things that I'm afraid of being disappointed and those sorts of things. And then I think just mentally getting to a place where I felt calmer.

I feel all stressed out a lot of times at work. And I think the sessions just helped give me strategies that I could actually use every day to help calm myself down. And I don't know about everybody else, but for me, if I'm stressed and I'm uptight and everything, I don't think the fertility piece is going to go very well. Then that's just not going to happen.

So when we did IVF, you know, they do a test, a blood test to kind of confirm whether you're pregnant or not. And it's about nine days after the transfer. So you're just kind of waiting. And, I will say within three to four days after the transfer, I felt something, a change in my body. And I just kind of felt like a little bit of pressure kind of down in the womb area. It got to the point where I called my doctor, you know, I was a little worried and the nurse said, well, you might just be that in tune with your body. And she said, you may, that may be the early signs of implantation and you're just very in tune with the feelings.

And so she said now try not to cheat and try not to do, you know, a pregnancy test at home or anything. Which was very hard. But as I read there's so many false positives, and false negatives early after IVF transfer that I thought, okay, I don't want to, again, the mental part, I don't want to put myself in a position where, you know, I'm thinking, I'm misinterpreting things. And so I waited.

And they actually, the way it worked was I got an email with the blood results prior to the doctor calling me, and they didn't intend for that to happen. It was the kind of third-party organisation that sent out the email. And so I get a score. And I don't know what it means because it doesn't say yes, you're pregnant or not. It's just like, here's the number. So then I'm frantically, and I'm at work, and I'm frantically trying to look up to see what it is. And I thought it indicated that I was pregnant, but of course I was, you know, is that real? Is it real? And I, and it was, you know, they called me within the hour and told me, and my husband actually teaches at my school and so I called him up to my office. You know, I said, Hey, when on your prep, when you get a break, come up here and, you know, he knew that was the day. And so he was very, very scared. I mean,he was white as a ghost, like just not knowing. And, and I told him it, you know, we were pregnant and he didn't believe me.

He was just like, are you sure? And I said Yes, I'm positive. And I'm so happy. And then, you know, the nurse did caution me. She said, if we have to do another test in 24 to 48 hours and there's a chance that it won't, you know. She said, now this test is as important as the test that you had today. So. I was trying to be excited, but then it was kind of, I went into that mode initially, like, okay, here we go again. I can't get excited about something. You know, I felt myself trying to go back down that way and I just, I was like, no, we're not doing this or positive. We're going to, you know, if that's what happens, that what happens, but right now we're in a good place.

And then they confirmed it. They said, you know, the results needed to go up a certain amount and it went way over that amount. And so they said everything was good. And I did get nervous for quite a while, you know, for those first ultrasounds, just with the history of the miscarriage, you know, when I had first got pregnant. We saw a heartbeat and then a week later, no heartbeat. So those first few ultrasounds, I was still very, very anxious. But I, you know, I had a very supportive doctor at the time. You know, my IVF doctor was still treating me and he's talking like we're going forward, everything's great. And so I, again, I went to, okay, I need to embrace this, I need to disconnect, go with this. And he's, you know, he's here so I need to get that good mental place too.

And my husband was very excited. He was trying to read me and play off of me, you know, like he didn't want to celebrate too much if he thought I wasn't but he, you know, he's probably more expressive than I am even. And so he's tearing up and those sorts of things, so it was just.

Part of it was the shock, like this really happened, this really. But then another part of it was okay, you know, this is what we envisioned this is what, you know, we’ve kind of been working for, and setting ourselves up to give the best opportunity. And so it just kind of all came full circle.

And part of the membership, you know, I was talking about the cycles and, and those sorts of things. And obviously with IVF, they start controlling it, through the medication. But I feel like having done so much of the work prior to, and I, you know, I'd done a lot of the charting and so I could see how things had progressed. And I felt like I had physically kind of prepared my body and helped it get to that point where even as they start to control it, my body was still responding in the way that it needed to respond.

And then I was also doing those steps with my diet, and with the mental part, and the exercises, that I was kind of setting it up to continue all the work that I had done in the membership. I was still doing the exercises every morning, I just kind of rotated through all five of them and just kept doing them. Even as I was going through the IVF, I was working on setting intentions, and visualisation. And just even the breathing just kind of keep my body calm.

And then I think that, like I said earlier, the diet piece was big because there was a part that I was inclined to just kind of go back to what I was doing and, with doing so much to your body, with IVF and putting so many hormones and so many things into your body, I thought I really need to make sure I stay on with the diet and the nutrition to keep that inflammation down and, you know, because you just don't know how your body's going to respond to the hormones. And so I didn't feel a ton of side effects from the IVF medication. And I do believe that's from the work that was done in the membership. I feel like, in continuing my diet and nutrition because. I had set my body up. I had been doing it for over six months, you know, these, just these routines and these schedules, and by the time I got to IVF, it was probably like nine months afterwards. So I’d done all this time of just doing that work, that allowed me to be in a good place. I felt a little bloated, but I didn't feel all the intense things. I didn't have the hormonal shifts. Like they talk about a lot of women that go through very erratic, kind of, emotional states through IVF with all the hormones. I didn't have that. And I believe that is from a lot of the diet nutrition, and then helping myself stay grounded. just didn't respond. So that made the whole process a lot easier. And that allowed me to just focus on just letting my body do what it needed to do.

I continued the acupressure from the membership, and that really became something I did every day after work. I did it more times a day than that, but like, I loved that time. That I would, I'd kind of go sit on our back patio and I would do those, all the different exercises I did moxa with it as well, which I had no idea about prior to the membership. And it just was very calming, no matter what happened throughout the day, I would come home and I knew I had that to look forward to. And it was just, I mean, it was wonderful to just kind of relax and I noticed a difference. And I noticed that as I was doing IVF, like I just noticed that I just kind of felt calmer and receptive. My body was just receptive to everything.

The membership to me is so much more than just trying to get pregnant, which is initially why I, you know, I did the membership and why I joined. And to me, it affected me in so many different ways. It went much further beyond just preparing my body. It was preparing my body for life. Just the changes that I made have helped me absolutely, in every day in my life.

When I went through the IVF process, I was like, okay, this might not happen and if it doesn't, I'm okay with that. We gave it our best shot. I did everything that I could, and I believe part of that is because I was in a better mental state. After the membership, and during the membership than I was prior to, you know, prior to the membership my focus was on pregnancy and every single month it was like, okay, they've got to do this, and this has to happen. And the world ended, you know, when I didn't get pregnant, when it, you know, my period came each month, it was just, I was devastated. I was questioning myself and just, you know, all the negative rabbit hole things that you can go into.

And when I joined the membership, there were so many different things that happened for me.

You know, there was the physical with the diet changes. There was the physical with, you know, my headaches start going away, my back pain starts going away. So I'm naturally starting to feel better. I'm not so irritable. I'm not, you know, and, and that affects how you go about your daily life.

And then, you know, we did the weekly sessions with the other women. And just having those zoom sessions with women from all over the world and hearing their journeys and hearing their stories, and everyone was open with each other, and we even did some of those kind of one-on-one sessions with other women during those zoom calls. And one of them, we're still friends and we still talk to each other on Facebook. And she just had a baby. And so she has a little one now. And so that's pretty incredible to have that friendship. We had talked when she got pregnant, you know, before I did, and just a little bit about her fears and things that she was going through.

And then now it's kind of reversed a little bit, and she's kind of helping me with that. So I've, you know, I have this friendship after the membership as well. And again, I just, I feel like she would support me, even if IVF hadn't worked. Like I had told her that I had, was going into it, and she was supportive with that and I feel like we would still be connected with, you know, if IVF hadn't worked.

And that's how I feel about everything with the membership. Like I am just in a better place as a person, after going through the membership. Just mentally, emotionally, physically. Like, it got all the parts. And I think we all go into it, and you look at the cost and you think, okay, but I might not get pregnant and it's just, it costs this much money. And it's like, but now going back through it, it's just like, but I got so much more out of it than just the pregnancy. Like I got so many life changes out of it. Obviously, the pregnancy is wonderful, but I got so much more out of it, things that I will continue every day in life and that will continue to impact me.

I've shared some of the exercises with a couple of other teachers I work with. And, you know, just even the bubble breathing in some of the visualisation. And I don't know if they consistently use it or not, but it's, it's impacted me that much, that I'm, I'm sharing it with other people that has nothing to do with pregnancy, you know? So I'm just, I want to scream so many of these techniques, so many of these things from the rooftops, because they've just helped me immensely. And obviously with getting pregnant, I mean, that was the end goal. So, I mean, that was achieved. I'm very grateful for it. And I don't think, I don't know that I think that we wouldn't be at this point because I don't even know if we would have even done IVF.

I don't know if I would have been in the mental place to even. No, we might've done it, but I don't know that it would have worked cause I don't know that I had done the prep work behind it. And those one-on-one sessions with you to help me get through and work through things that I haven't even faced or worked through before. And just feeling that trust with you to be able to help, just be there for me and to help kind of guide and not feeling like you were ever telling me what to do. Like it was just supporting and helping me sort through those things. And even just offering new perspectives and new ways to look at things.

And they were just slight changes. It was just, okay, can we shift the way we're viewing this? Okay, that doesn't seem that hard, I could probably do that. And I did it, but then it'd be a huge change in my life. And so it's, it's hard to quantify, you know, all of those changes, but it's, I can't say it any other way, you know. We were pregnant, and at the same time, my life is just different, my perspective is different. Everything has changed since the membership.

***Update***

We are doing wonderfully. Robbie is 9.5 months old now and is such an incredible joy in our lives.

It wasn't that long ago where we were wrestling some major decisions and working on ourselves. As I'm pushing Robbie around our yard to put food out for the deer, foxes, coyotes, squirrels, raccoons, birds, and anything else, I so often think back to one of our sessions. You had asked us to envision our lives with our baby or child, whatever age. I had envisioned walking around the yard to put food out with our little one. Here we are now, living that out. He might not be walking yet, but he so enjoys being pushed around in the stroller to do it. :)

I cannot thank you enough for all of your help in getting us here.